Archive for April, 2013

Gummi Game of Thrones

This article from the Collider six months ago suggests Gummi Bears should be rebooted. The reason? To teach our children moral lessons. I say eff that. I want a Game of Thrones-esque somewhat-gritty reboot. I don’t know exactly the relationship dynamics, but I think you throw in a couple potential suitors for Calla to vye for her hand vs her true love, Cavin. You add a couple existential threats from neighboring kingdoms (the night is long and full of sugar frosted flakes?), switch to a live action/cgi mix, rendering the gummi hideout in real life so you can replicate it at a park, serialized it so episodes are not episodic and you’ve got a hit on your hands.

Stolen from reddit, not ratheism



Machete Kills

Logan might be willing to actually do a nude scene in this one.

Stupidest Angel

The film adaptation of Christopher Moore’s The Stupidest Angel is coming out this Christmas, starring William Fichtner and post divorce Rhea Perlman.


Not quite Damascus

Guardians of the Galaxy casting suggestions

Sorry for the two week or so hiatus. You know, spring break, Disney, no big whoop. Anyhoo, over spring break, I started researching the comic origins of the Marvel/Disney movies and liked what I found. Most of the plots were lifted almost directly from the comics. That got me thinking, “why not get ahead of the game and start reading Guardians of the Galaxy?” That was, in turn a pretty good idea, as the iteration of GotG that will be adapted has only been around since 2008, so there aren’t a million comics to sort through; the characters have rich back stories, and it borders on meta, throwing out all kinds of technical/time travel jargon and a little self-reflexive action.

My understanding is that the GotG movie will be an all-in-one, where the characters are all introduced in the same movie where they all appear. While I don’t think all the characters need their own films, I do have an idea I think would be awesome for an introductory movie. I think Disney ought to make a Thanos movie. I think it would be a Hollywood first, to make a movie designed to tell the villain’s story rather than the hero. It would make good sense, too. Gamora, who is a member of the GotG, is Thanos’ adopted daughter. Telling the story about him adopting her and training her to defeat Annihilus (or whatever he trained her to do) would start the movie in a novel place and tie it to the already foreshadowed Avengers 2 villain, not to mention the parallels to the Loki origin story.

That is all kind of parenthetical. My wandering got me wondering: who should be cast in these roles?

Here are some suggestions along with a few words of explanation:
Star Lord (already given to Chris Pratt) I say Bobby Campo, the awesome undertaker from Being Human.

Zoe Saldana is currently rumored, which is cool, because she was on my list

Adam Warlock

Willem Dafoe is too old, how about Iwan Rheon from Misfits?






Mantis reminds me of Inara from Firefly, but that would be too easy. Needs to be someone poised, beneficent, confident, glowing, who can also rock those antennae. In the day, I would have immediately pointed to Anitra Ford, and I would say Mila Kunis, if she weren’t also green in her last movie, though the character used to be drawn like Betty Page. However, I would go with Ziyi Zhang. Also, possibly Audrey Tatou


Quasar (Phyla-Vell)

Getting a little frustrated with my blog skills.  This one would be a no brainer for Scarlett Johanson, but she’s taken, so how about Rooney Mara, like this guy says.

Vin Diesel is Drax the Destroyer, so naturally, that role went to a wrestler, Dave Batista, who actually will work pretty well, too.

As for Groot, Rocket Raccoon, and Cosmo, the soviet space dog, I don’t really care who voices them, so let’s say Seth Rogen